MALE BODS RULE, BUD!

Last weekend I had so much fun that it's taken me until today to recover enough to blog about it.

How about twenty funny things to celebrate?

1. J.K. Rowling announced that Dumbledore was gay and in love with Grindewald. Our entire understanding of the flaming phoenix, the long hours spent gazing at reflections in Pensieves, and the awesome anagram "Male bods rule, bud!" changed overnight.

2. At Silk on Thursday, Genna told us about an 18-year-old boy who's trying to date her. No. I told her, "He's a child, not a choice."

3. Later, Marilyn told us about the 22-year-old who looks like an 18-year old who's trying to date her. Yes. I told her, "He's a choice, not a child."

A lot of funny things happened at Making Time.

4. I got a text from a number I don't know with a very impressive and disturbing animated gif of a naked girl doing something to herself. If you need me to tell you what it was, find me and ask me. I don't really feel like putting it up here. It was funny, though.

5. Bizarro Chris!

6. Genna's text: "So that dude who looks like Chris told me he's seen me before. I've never noticed him. I'd better open up my other eye and pay attention!"

7. I was asked permission by a friend who wanted to ask out my sister. Listen, people, she's gonna make her own decisions, but that is one classy touch. I'm serious. If you want me to root for your team, that is the way to do it.


8. On Saturday, M and I followed my mom around Philly on a 10-mile diabetes walk that went up and down 100 flights of stairs all over the city. GO MOM! At the end of it, we walked into the Liacouras Center at Temple and found her talking to Mother Love, a late-nineties daytime trash TV talk show host who used to weigh about 300 pounds more or something and is now a star in the world of diabetic celebrities. My mom was totally gushing about her, and she wanted a picture with the four of us. Mother Love asked me if Marilyn was my girlfriend and looked a little embarrassed when I explained she was my sister. We took the picture, and then Mother Love looked at us and said, "Oh, now I see it." Then she pointed to me and said, "You would have been a pretty girl."

Duh, Mother Love.

9. We found Sarah on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." A tiny head in the background when they are drinking mimosas at the nonexistent cafe across from the Gleaners.



10. At Rustica, Luis tried to play White Zombie. Dan told me the whole time I was in Spain, he was slipping it on. I love family restaurants! Mexicawesome.

So many funny things happened at Jo's birthday party.

11. Josh ate like three cupcakes. Dude was fucked.

12. Sue heard that if you left batteries in something--I don't know if it was water or whisky or whatever--for half an hour and then lit it on fire, it would explode. Nope. Not true.

13. Somebody Jo didn't know came to the party and gave her a new TV.



14. Oops, the philosophers missed Erol Alkan and the surprise Justice show in New York, and then they came to Philly and got to the Justice show in time for the encore. Chris's text that came after the first few notes of the encore: "Ah! I am here!"

15. After nearly ruining Jo's birthday by accidentally not getting her a Justice ticket, I got her one and couldn't get a hold of her. Oh well, at least Genna got to go.

16. Imri! On crutches! That dude has come back from hibernation as an incredibly party-responsible person. If I had fractured my heels, I don't know if I would have been there.

17. Party of the year at Silk! Oh man. Crowdsurfing, stage diving, beer spraying everywhere, people swinging from light fixtures and breaking tables and glasses everywhere, Marilyn getting her ass grabbed by Spank Rock, the whole crowd, in fact, going berserk for Spank Rock when his song came on, and Justice showing up to their own afterparty. Much later, when I was locking up my bike outside of Silk City for the night, Mark Bee came out and said, "Were you at that party? That was fuckin' awesome! I mean, that was a good party, right? Right? That was a good party, right?" I said, "Yes," and he just kept saying, "That was fuckin' awesome!" It was four in the morning, and he was in there by himself cleaning up the aftermath.

18. We raced to RUBA. Running is the new not running. I got to make fun of Chris for getting beaten by a fag and a girl.

19. All of Northern Liberties and everyone from the Justice show was at RUBA. Everyone wanted to talk to my sister. The next day, somebody asked me when he was going to get my sister's phone number. Seriously? I said, "I don't know. I guess you'll have to ask her."

20. I am now a future graduate of Temple University. What? Weird. I can't wait to see how this pans out. There may be way fewer parties in my future...or way more. Only time will tell.

PS - Way to go, New Young Pony Club, and sorry, Fran, but I really liked "The Darjeeling Limited."