#2 in an occasional feature where I explain why someone we know deserves to be listed in your "Heroes" section.
1. Sue, for accidentally saying that zombies are "not hard to fun from." Hooray for new transitive verbs!
2. Everybody who made that hilarious zombie movie for MRT that showed up on Philebrity today.
3. Everybody at the party the other night (except for the po-po). Can you send me pictures so I can blog about it already?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
♥♥♥♥I♥T♥'S♥♥ H♥E♥R♥E♥!♥♥♥♥
TONIGHT, people!!!
I hung out with Matt Doty last night and he is so psyched. He waited in line at UPS for hours--even an hour and a half after they closed--so he could pick up some last-minute records to throw on tonight. You want love? You want commitment? There it is.
Booty-shakin', out-makin', and various forms of writhing. See you there.
PARTY-COMMITTED.
First things first:
Last night, Levon Helm and his band ordered $300 worth of food from Rustica. You know, there's cool, and then there's Levon Helm cool. Sometimes I kind of like my weird job.
Anyway:
Now that I can't get out during the week, the weekend is like this huge ginormous present I'm waiting for all week and jumping up and down like a little kid, wanting to shake it and see what's inside. So if I'm a little tired on a Friday night, not that many people are there, or not much is going on, I'm still having an awesome time. Seriously, you should try it.
Last night was Click at Fluid. Send me those pictures, Chris.
1. Sue has a habit now of leaving without telling anyone. Can we get her a bell or something?
2. You want free drinks all night? Just pay the five dollars for Chris to get in. I think I definitely got the good end of the deal on that one.
3. Except for when I slipped into my routine fiscally irresponsible party-mode and started buying Sue $9 drinks that she didn't really ask for.
4. Brazilian husband-and wife DJs? Yes please. Maybe not as exciting as I had hoped, but hey, they did kiss at one point. Come on, I mean that is totally unnecessary and completely adorable. Plus, they played Ku Duru.
(If you're interested, here's their most recent "Electro Banger Ghetto Trash Set." (Come on- do any of us know what that really means? Whatever, it was fun.)
JAGG OFF
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5. Woods' and my Jagger-text wars have now mutated into "Do your best Bianca Jagger." Also, that video has now spawned a new verb for us: "Doot." Do it. One word.
6. Another way to get free drinks (well, this is an old standby): don't make a big deal out of it when somebody knocks your drink out of your hand and onto the floor, especially when you hardly had any left in there. They're adults; they're going to buy you a shiny brand new beer.
7. I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank Eric for introducing us to a group of legitimately ridiculously fun and relatively Ani-free lesbians. On a related note, a million kudos for Deshawn's bizarre sweater and the Leslie and the LYs pride that came with it.
8. At work, somebody paid with a dollar bill that had crazy neon marker writing all over it that said: "LOTTO WINNER!!!" I took it to Fluid and paid with it at the coat check. The girl was really, really, really excited about it.
9. Strange sleep utterances. I love you, baby. Happy Valentine's.
10. I would like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to Ben for running into him and Mack on the street, inviting him to Marilyn's, passing out in a kitchen chair as soon as I walked through the door, and having somebody call him while he was finding parking to tell him never mind, we're going home. LAME.
OK, see you tonight. I have to go write a stupid paper.
Last night, Levon Helm and his band ordered $300 worth of food from Rustica. You know, there's cool, and then there's Levon Helm cool. Sometimes I kind of like my weird job.
Anyway:
Now that I can't get out during the week, the weekend is like this huge ginormous present I'm waiting for all week and jumping up and down like a little kid, wanting to shake it and see what's inside. So if I'm a little tired on a Friday night, not that many people are there, or not much is going on, I'm still having an awesome time. Seriously, you should try it.
Last night was Click at Fluid. Send me those pictures, Chris.
1. Sue has a habit now of leaving without telling anyone. Can we get her a bell or something?
2. You want free drinks all night? Just pay the five dollars for Chris to get in. I think I definitely got the good end of the deal on that one.
3. Except for when I slipped into my routine fiscally irresponsible party-mode and started buying Sue $9 drinks that she didn't really ask for.
4. Brazilian husband-and wife DJs? Yes please. Maybe not as exciting as I had hoped, but hey, they did kiss at one point. Come on, I mean that is totally unnecessary and completely adorable. Plus, they played Ku Duru.
(If you're interested, here's their most recent "Electro Banger Ghetto Trash Set." (Come on- do any of us know what that really means? Whatever, it was fun.)
JAGG OFF
Add to My Profile | More Videos
5. Woods' and my Jagger-text wars have now mutated into "Do your best Bianca Jagger." Also, that video has now spawned a new verb for us: "Doot." Do it. One word.
6. Another way to get free drinks (well, this is an old standby): don't make a big deal out of it when somebody knocks your drink out of your hand and onto the floor, especially when you hardly had any left in there. They're adults; they're going to buy you a shiny brand new beer.
7. I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank Eric for introducing us to a group of legitimately ridiculously fun and relatively Ani-free lesbians. On a related note, a million kudos for Deshawn's bizarre sweater and the Leslie and the LYs pride that came with it.
8. At work, somebody paid with a dollar bill that had crazy neon marker writing all over it that said: "LOTTO WINNER!!!" I took it to Fluid and paid with it at the coat check. The girl was really, really, really excited about it.
9. Strange sleep utterances. I love you, baby. Happy Valentine's.
10. I would like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to Ben for running into him and Mack on the street, inviting him to Marilyn's, passing out in a kitchen chair as soon as I walked through the door, and having somebody call him while he was finding parking to tell him never mind, we're going home. LAME.
OK, see you tonight. I have to go write a stupid paper.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
BE MINE
Here's what we're counting down to.
If you don't know where, ask me. If you don't know me, I guess it's just not in the cards.
Mwah.
If you don't know where, ask me. If you don't know me, I guess it's just not in the cards.
Mwah.
Monday, February 11, 2008
NOBODY ASKED SUE...
...if it was OK to cop her steez.
But imitation and flattery etc, right?
Exhibit 1:
But imitation and flattery etc, right?
Exhibit 1:
Sunday, February 10, 2008
BOOZE, BROADS AND BOOTY BASS
1. When choosing their neighborhood bar that they'll be frequenting every night, people who are trying to quit smoking might not want to settle on the one bar in West Philly where you can smoke.
2. That said, Larry is an impressive bartender: you're not getting your drink until he knows your name (which he will not forget), where you grew up, where you went to school and how much you'll be drinking tonight. Go Larry.
3. Girls who lose their shoes at bars sometimes find them in Ben Gallman's pockets.
4. I finally got some vindication on the whole weird thing about Eric wanting to eat my face. All of his friends agreed that he's an absurd fucking weirdo and that he should be grateful that I offered to leave him my face in my will to do with it whatever he wants.
5. Two toilets in the same stall: bad idea.
6. The bathroom situation at Pi Lam, however, is improving. No more crater in the middle of the floor with a fountain of water spewing out of it.
7. The door staff at Pi Lam were overwhelmed with the turnout and incredibly appreciative: as they signed your hand, they said, "Thank you very much for coming. It's so good to have you here." It was astonishingly sincere.
8. Our secret beer carton made it about halfway before somebody found it and raided it: way better than we'd expected!
9. Crazed flail-dancing. It was an epidemic all night. That music was lasers.
10. 4 a.m. end-of-the-night carbo-loading: an American pastime.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
THAT FELT GOOD
Silk City, M Room, Barbary, Lauren's, Christopher's, home.
10. DJ block of Violent Femmes? Ben wouldn't stop talking about it.
9. At some point last night, I saw every last gay boy in Philadelphia. These people are so easy to love because they are SO FUCKING SMILEY!!!
8. Smurf blue drugs.
7. Huy still lives at Silk City.
6. Is there a word for people who go to a DJ night but just hang around outside talking to smokers and never pay to get in? Leave it in the comments.
5. Also, is there a word for that tiny weird cutout in the wall to the left of the door at Silk City where everybody always hides and smokes?
4. So surprised that Marilyn is my sister. Also, said things like, "When you're single, you get DJ gigs out the wazoo."
3. Look, I don't know how many times I've seen Lauren's huge enormous fucking cat now, but JESUS CHRIST IS THAT ONE GIANT HUGE ENORMOUS FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!
2. Girl: "Hi. Can I dance with you?"
Me: "Yeah!"
Girl: "Are you gay?"
ME: "Yeah!"
Girl: "Oh, thank God."
1. This kid DANCED! I have multiple witnesses to prove it.
10. DJ block of Violent Femmes? Ben wouldn't stop talking about it.
9. At some point last night, I saw every last gay boy in Philadelphia. These people are so easy to love because they are SO FUCKING SMILEY!!!
8. Smurf blue drugs.
7. Huy still lives at Silk City.
6. Is there a word for people who go to a DJ night but just hang around outside talking to smokers and never pay to get in? Leave it in the comments.
5. Also, is there a word for that tiny weird cutout in the wall to the left of the door at Silk City where everybody always hides and smokes?
4. So surprised that Marilyn is my sister. Also, said things like, "When you're single, you get DJ gigs out the wazoo."
3. Look, I don't know how many times I've seen Lauren's huge enormous fucking cat now, but JESUS CHRIST IS THAT ONE GIANT HUGE ENORMOUS FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!
2. Girl: "Hi. Can I dance with you?"
Me: "Yeah!"
Girl: "Are you gay?"
ME: "Yeah!"
Girl: "Oh, thank God."
1. This kid DANCED! I have multiple witnesses to prove it.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Fashion A-Go-Go
We all know that New York leads the way in fashion in the U.S. (shut up LA people...I've been to your stores and all you have is neon clothing). But we also have to admit that Europe is way ahead of the U.S. If you see it on the runway in Europe, expect it to be here next year. As seen at the Denmark and Stockholm fashion weeks....my top three impending fashion trends that make me shutter:
1) This is just a bad idea. Not only are you gonna have to avoid tree branches and stucco walls, but this is a straight path to a HUGE resurgence of some major huffing addictions. It is simply bad business to have a helium tank in your clothing closet.
2) Babies as accessories? C'mon! What are you supposed to do with it when you are passed out on your friends steps in South Philly from all the JB shots you did that night? I don't know much about babies, but I think it's generally frowned upon to let them sleep in your oversized handbag (on their way out, ps) in the Beulah alleyway.
3) Hammer, don't hurt'em. Seriously you guys, I've been watching all the European fashion weeks and I have been seeing this often. It's for real!!! So if you wanna say you were wearing that a year ago and are so over it when everyone else starts up, get yours now. I'm sure Vanilla Ice would be willing to unload some pants at a discount.
1) This is just a bad idea. Not only are you gonna have to avoid tree branches and stucco walls, but this is a straight path to a HUGE resurgence of some major huffing addictions. It is simply bad business to have a helium tank in your clothing closet.
2) Babies as accessories? C'mon! What are you supposed to do with it when you are passed out on your friends steps in South Philly from all the JB shots you did that night? I don't know much about babies, but I think it's generally frowned upon to let them sleep in your oversized handbag (on their way out, ps) in the Beulah alleyway.
3) Hammer, don't hurt'em. Seriously you guys, I've been watching all the European fashion weeks and I have been seeing this often. It's for real!!! So if you wanna say you were wearing that a year ago and are so over it when everyone else starts up, get yours now. I'm sure Vanilla Ice would be willing to unload some pants at a discount.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
AHH, CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER
On discovering that his dining companion, the Arab leader Ibn Saud, forwent smoking and alcohol on religious grounds, Winston Churchill retorted:
"I must point out that my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."
MT, 02/01/2K8
10. Shiv likes her Venn Diagram.
9. If you ever want to feel like the lovedingest loved person who ever got loved, get Josh Manganella and Dan Goat to bear-hug you at the same time. You'll sweat rainbows.
8. MT is disco, disco, disco. I definitely felt like 1976 for an hour and a half. God, I hope this trend hangs on for a while. It's like the WHOLE WORLD IS GAY!!!
7. Speaking of which, hi, Jonathan. Nice to meet you last night. Also, I want you to personally thank you for singling me out and affirming that I come off to other people the exact way that I hope I do. You said, "Excuse me," and asked me what the hell was going on, why there were so many girls and beardos there, and what good your membership was if you couldn't find any gay boys to go home with. You said I "looked obviously gay but also like I probably knew what was going on." Oh, Jonathan, all I want to be is the gayest fag when I'm around straight people and the straightest butch when I'm with my people--thank you for sizing me up; it made me feel, well, fabulous.
6. Ladies, I just last night made a decision. Disco Era III or not, can we start saying "No" to sequins in 2K8? I mean, yes, all boys like shiny things, but sequins are starting to remind me too much of Jo-Ann Fabrics. Maybe let's go with iridescence:
5. Christopher's short hair!
4. Marilyn and her mini bottles. A+. We kept seeing them all night getting kicked around the floor.
3. At the Beulah Recovery Brunch this morning, Stephanie told us about the time she went to Las Vegas, drank a giant "High Octane" alcoholic slushee that her brother had secretly spiked with several shots of grain alcohol, went to see the Blue Man Group with her parents, and projectile vomited all over the lobby. You have to hear her tell this story. It's epic.
2. Continuing to validate her Instant Hero Status, a certain lady decided that, you know, if you want to be able to smoke weed downstairs at Pure, you should just be able to do it, and then she went ahead and did it. Awesome.
1. Rob's haircut makes him look like my boyfriend from the back. Three times I put my arm around him and talked to him like he was Eric, which, of course, he wasn't. Once I think I even said, "Honey, I love you so much."
Side note re: Native American Headdress girl: I applaud you for having the balls. Listen, people, one person dressed like this might seem like something of a douchebag, but let's pause and think of what she might be thinking. Maybe she's thinking, what if everybody dressed like this? What if we all went crazy apeshit bonkers and dressed like morons once a month? Would it be so bad? Or would it kind of be like this:
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