I'M PRETTY SURE THIS REALLY HAPPENED

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

HERO MACHINE

Installment #1 of a feature where I will point out why some person in my "extended network" deserves instant hero status.

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LOLauren: I slept a little on your New Year's Resolutions. If reading them today was the only thing I'd done, I could still put a gold star on the calendar:

    "HAVE BETTER POSTURE

    SUCK MORE DICK

    TRY ANOREXIA ONE MORE TIME

    DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE FASCIST PIGS

    BE A SNAPPIER DRESSER

    DO THE DISHES MORE FREQUENTLY

    SPREAD MY LOVE WITH EFFICIENCY AND CANDOR"


Congratulations, girl. Please stay within a 2-mile radius of me for the rest of my LIFE.

3 comments:

ohsolasa said...

I would like to thank the academy, tequila, boners, the glitterati and Andy for this amazing and totally honorable honor.

If blogs were lotteries I would buy you all helicopters and snak paks.

PS Does this mean moving to Fishtown is out of the question?

pinchefresco said...

Oh man, I am so bad with distances.

OK, I just did some calculations on google maps.

30 miles or fewer will be acceptable.

marilyn said...

anybody with a common gross-me-out instinct toward scavengers of the sea is a hero in my book