Poppin' Lollipops 'n' Squats

Having bunkered down in my apartment all weekend, I did not encounter much hilarity this week. So let me just share with you three gems from Halloween--some of you non-partakers may know this night simply as Wednesday.

1) Sitting at the bar at the Standard Tap....CHRIS: What exactly IS Art for Art's Sake? ME: Well, it's really complicated because some would argue that it literally cannot exist, but ( WHACK!!!!! Chris smacks my head causing my "miner's" light to jump to life. We all find this hysterical and this becomes the game of the night--until I get a headache and take it off.)

2) After digging in the candy bowl, Marilyn surfaces with a blue lollipop. MARILYN: I shouldn't have this. It will make my tongue blue. ME: Have it! Your tongue's gonna be blue later anyway. MARILYN: You're right. (pops it in her mouth)

Why did I say that? But more importantly, why did it make sense to M?


3) Andy waiting outside the bathroom for me at Silk City. Here's what I hear: RANDOM GIRL: You are so good-looking. ANDY: Thank you. I'm gay. RG: Oh, I know. I wasn't hitting on you or anything. ME (as I slam the bathroom door open): Wait! You're GAY????!!! RG looks scared and confused that she just outed Andy.


No more staying in on weekends equals more funny things next week.

P.S. My cousin's band is coming in from L.A. to play at Johnny Brenda's Wednesday night. Come with me!!! He's fun and his bandmates are good for at least 11 funny things.