1. Sarah either did or did not say at her family's Thanksgiving table that what she was thankful for was her friend, Conrad.
2. Sue and Sarah are stealing all of my clothes.
3. "Sexting."
4. Last night at the bowling alley in New Jersey, I was trying to tell Sarah that Silk City was annoying last week because it was all Jersey bros and hos. There were people from New Jersey and in New Jersey standing next to us, so I said, "There were certain kinds of people there that I don't want to see when I go out." She said, "What kind of people?" I said, "You know, certain kinds of people." She said, "Oh, right. Black people."
5. When Conrad puts his nickname into a computerized bowling score-taking machine, it shows up as RAPE. Also, Ben Gallman and I are asking you all to vote on which is a better rap MC name for Conrad: Rapekwon or Sir Rapes-a-Lot?
6. I scare babies. Give them to me and they'll start crying. (Specifically Zolani, pictured above.)
7. Lauren keeps text-reminding me that she's lounging by a poolside in Miami. Thanks, Lauren. Enjoy.
8. Me: "I need to get a key made." Sue: "There's a place around the corner. This is South Philly. We have everything at our fingertips."
9. I don't have water or heat yet. I'm Sue and Sarah's unofficial intern. They have the world's tiniest shower.
10. My mom and dad were really upset with me twice this week for not going out and getting drunk with Marilyn. Quote of the month, from my conservative Christian mother: "Your sister expects you to be at the Spank Rock show. What, you don't like Spank Rock or something?"
4 comments:
i told sarah that there would be blacks there. it helped, I think.
Rapekwon.
south philly also has flat bike tires at its fingertips, just so you know. And I am pretty sure that the guy who hit me with his door, and pretended to call the cops, and demanded that I pay to fix his door, and tried to take my bike, and threw a fake punch at me, and tried to take my wallet, and freaked out when I touched him even though he had already touched me and my bike more than once, and demanded that I pay him again, and maybe was on steroids (we callz them 'roids) was from south philly.
SO maybe you even have 'roids at your 'tips.
But it was on broad street, so I am perhaps being a little presumptuous (but he was i swear a soufie)
We have a whole lot of shitty drugs at our fingertips.
Oops, that comment was from me, not Eric. I love sharing computers. I should have written so many things as him.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
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