VIII. TOP TEN STOOOOPIDEST PICTURES

OMG LOL LOOK WHT JST HPPND THS YR!!!! LMAO WTFHAHA

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

KEEPING LISTING

IX. TOP TEN SONGS: "CATCHING ALL THE LIGHTS," VOL. II


The other half--the ones we dance to all the time.

1. "Bird Flu" - M.I.A.
   A challenge. But if people figure it out, it will get the party started. Can we get Panaan to teach us some dances for this?


2. "Thou Shalt Always Kill" - Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip
   Manifesto.


3. "Atlas" - Battles
   Everybody always thinks it's Marilyn Manson; then they think it's aliens; finally they all just start dancing and freaking out.


4. "Gronlandic Edit" - Of Montreal
   All the party people dancing for the indie star.


5. "A Sentence of Sorts In Kongsvinger" - Of Montreal
   Because these songs are inseparable. They're like "Ziggy Stardust" and "Suffragette City." One completes the thought of the other. Also, because it's fun to dance to bubbly songs about suicide and depression and living in Norway while feeling "the darkness of the black metal bands."


6. "Beautiful Life" - Gui Boratto
   My favorite song of the year.


7. "Annabelle" - Hail Social
   I love Philly bands, especially when they make me feel like I'm making love to a peppermint candy cane.


8. "Merry Making At My Place" - Calvin Harris
   A song about our upcoming New Year's party.


9. "Violator" - White Williams
   Why haven't you discovered him yet?


10. "Pro Nails f/ Kanye West" - Kid Sister
    A song about my kid sister.


11. "Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix f/ Kelly Rowlands, Michelle Williams and Solange)" - Beyonce
    Most welcome dance-music trend of 2K7? Bringing back the hokey-pokey. Second most welcome? Giving Beyonce a George Michael chorus and letting her explode all over it.


12. "D.A.N.C.E." - Justice
    Duh.


13. "Get Innocuous!" - LCD Soundsystem
    Not the best song on the album, but my favorite to dance to. It's easy, if you're drunk, to forget there's anyone else in the room when this song is playing, even if there are two thousand people.


14. "The Magic Position" - Patrick Wolf
    Cheeky monkey.


15. "1234 (Van She Technologic Remix)" - Feist
    Improvements on perfection: another welcome trend.


16. "The Crystal Cat" - Dan Deacon
    Designed to pinpoint and stimulate the pleasure center in your brain throughout the entire song (and album).


17. "Harder Better Faster Stronger Alive" - Daft Punk
    Even if I never get over the fact that my boyfriend was there and I wasn't, there's always this track to get lost in and get really excited about midnight on New Year's Eve.

FESTIVAL OF HIGHLIGHTS

1. Sarah: "All these boys have biblical names."
Sue: "Jason's not a biblical name."
Sarah: "Yeah. You know, from the story of...Jason and...the Stick."

2. Text from Chris D: "FUCK RON MAC DON BOO"


3. JB: "Sue, why'd you dye your hair so good?"

4. JB: "Tequila makes me feel smagical."

5. JB: "I work for my healthcare. I work in the healthcare industry. I fuckin' work for my healthcare."

6. JB: "I feel like [Double Ballard Shotgun] only happens when I'm drunk."

7. JB: "Even if I wasn't drunk at work, I still wouldn't have the internet there."

8. Dan K: "I'll text her what for."


9. Scattergories: first, we told the story of the time Jo put 12 boy's names that started the same letter and not 12 answers to the 12 different categories. Then, on the first round, Jay did the wrong set of categories. We let him come up with an answer for each one as we went around. The letter was "H," and he tried to say "Huddam Hussein." What, we said, is that Hussein's son? "Yes," he said. "Saddam Hussein's son, Huddam." The second time, Dan K did the wrong letter, and Ben took his pad and filled it with "N" answers really quickly--each one started with "Nut." Famous musician? Nut King Cole. Girl's name? Nut bitch.

10. Text wars.
A: Sarah's trying to make out with everyone.
D: Goddamit. I left too early.
D: By everyone, do you mean you?
A: Just kidding she told me to say that
D: SHE'S A SLUT

11. Text from Sarah to Sue: "Karen and the stick hu sane remind me. T foot wake now. maybe tomorrow body wants your toast"


12. Jay McCarroll at the Punk Rock Flea Market with his gross little handbags? Wow. He told Conrad he loooooved his scarf and asked where he got it. Conrad said, "At a thrift store years ago, but originally it's from the Gap." JMC said, "Ew, the Gap," and started ignoring Conrad. JK said, "Oh, so it's from the Gap, so now he doesn't like it anymore." Right in front of our own neighborhood D-Lister. We love you, JK!


13. If you want to have more fun than you can imagine, take Sue and Sarah to the King of Prussia Mall two days before Christmas. Oh man. Best part? Sarah telling me, "Andy, most of the things I say are words."


14. Laser tag is not so fun when there are two other teams of really serious people who don't smile, no one tells you how to use your heat-sensitive guns, the management enforces their "No Running" policy, you only get 15 minutes, nobody tells Sarah you can re-power up your gun after you get shot, and every time you try to go up a ramp to find your teammates, three middle schoolers yell, "Blue coming up!" and start firing at you like you're trying to take their parents away or something. No joy in that room. How is that possible with glow paint and lasers? Ahhh, the Great Northeast. You can ruin anything.

Also, Sarah met Jay K's twin brother and was really, really disappointed that he didn't look more like Jay to her.

12. But then we found out Jay K's real name is All-Star. We're using it a lot already.

13. We played Scattergories again, and this time, Sue started on a "D" round and halfway through accidentally changed to "P."

14. Rustica Christmas Party. My favorite part, personally, was when two neighbors wandered in looking for pizza and Sue rushed inside to greet them, made friends with them, served them tacos, tequila and beer and invited them to NYE.



15. Rob wrote us our own personal Christmas Quizzo for our "Ben-and-Allison-are-on-vacation-PARTY-AT-BEN'S-HOUSE" Party. He did so much research on Christmas. Holly and Jady won the prize: a double-feature DVD of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" and some other Yuletide horror movie.


16. On Christmas morning, I shook jingle bells outside of Sarah's bedroom door until she woke up and started screaming, "Santa, is that you? Hold on, I'm naked! I'll be right there!" When she opened the door, I was in a Santa hat and a red velour "Fatty Girl" sweatsuit. She called me Sexy Santa and made me get in bed with her. Then she called Sue in the next room on the phone and made her come in and take pictures of us in bed together.



Later, we walked to Woah-Hey's in our PJs and woke him up with jingle bells and bed-jumping.


17. Rob's first Christmas!!! He gave us presents!!!




18. Some choice gifts handed out at Beulah's XMS BRKFST: a Make-Your-Own-Ice-Sculpture Kit, "Finding Nemo," "The Little Mermaid," a papier-mache unicorn bust, a candy cane tree, candy wreaths, dollar store calendars. a Larry "Bud" Melman Couch Potato Workout video on VHS, bling necklaces, glow sticks, glow rings, everlasting glow sticks, a diorama of the Hatch from "Lost," theater tickets, a DVD of "Make Room for Daddy," dinosaur stickers, an inflatable dinosaur, 36-piece dinosaur jigsaw puzzles and a set of notecards featuring a photograph of a baby in a koala cyclops costume. I'm forgetting so many good ones. Tell me that's not a Magical Experience.

19. We almost had Rob convinced that Christians always wear all-white on Christmas morning.

20. Sarah didn't say she was naked on Christmas morning. I just wrote that to piss her off.

HO HO HO

So many Christmas things are happening.

TOP TEN TOP TENS

For your viewing pleasure, the top ten Top Ten Lists for the end of 2K7.


X. TOP TEN SONGS: "CATCHING ALL THE LIGHTS, VOL. 1"
(Not a Top Ten list, but my music-nurdz-end-of-the-year mix CD. Ask me, and I'll burn it for you.)

1. "Taken Too Young (f/ Taken By Trees)" - The Tough Alliance
   Remixing a song and recording your own vocals over the whole thing, then throwing in island sounds and and African children's choir is the new remixing.


2. "Hussel (f/ Afrikan Boy)" - M.I.A.
   "You know I'm big in Mozambique. Eh eh!"


3. "Patterns of a Diamond Ceiling" - Marnie Stern
   To paraphrase that Newport kid in I'm Not There, every once in a while I kind of like having my brain melted down with sulfuric acid, quick-frozen, and turned into raspberry ice cream.


4. "A Postcard To Nina" - Jens Lekman
   The cutest ode to staying in the closet ever.


5. "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" - Vampire Weekend
   This was the year I got back into Fela and Femi Kuti and Antibalas. Good timing, guys -- not to mention "Louis Vuitton/reggaeton/sandy lawn/Benneton." Wow.


6. "Umbrella (Remix f/ Chris Brown and Jay-Z)" - Rihanna
   Just try crying through it. Come on, all of us at some time or another have driven down 676 with the windows rolled way up so we could plow through the confetti rain of this chorus at the tops of our lungs. You don't have to admit it, but it's true.


7. "The Operation" - Charlotte Gainsbourg
   Serge's daughter lives up to her father's mischievous reputation as she slices her lover into little bits to get to know him better and then shrugs when things don't go well.


8. "I Guess We'll Forget the Sound, I Guess, I Guess" - Bodies of Water
   Get religion.


9. "Horse & I" - Bat for Lashes
   Can we have more music like this in general? Can someone send a copy of this to Kate Bush?


10. "Night Drive" - Chromatics
    Texas Fauxtalians are sexy, creepy, and brilliant.


11. "The Other Woman" - Devendra Banhart
    I wanted to include "Seahorse," but it was too long. I like this song almost as much. The whole album is like a more lucid Paul Morrissey dream sequence that somehow makes sense.


12. "Diamond Heart" - Marissa Nadler
    Taking back women and guitars. I'll bet the decaf crowd doesn't take well to Marissa - "I had a man in every town/And I thought of you each time I tore off my gown" doesn't sound bitter, desperate or slutty, just vulnerable, weathered and honest. She is the most deceptively difficult performer to categorize in 2007.


13. "No More" - The Dirty Projectors
    When your roommate gets famous, you're proud of him. When his music sounds like this, you become the giddy fan of your roommate.


14. "Four Winds" - Bright Eyes
    I wasn't even really a fan until a few years ago; now I wonder if the man can make a bad album. It seems effortless.


15. "Intervention" - Arcade Fire
    OOORRRGGGAAAANNN


16. "Plus Ones" - Okkervil River
    In which the young lads one-up R.E.M, The Zombies, The Commodores, the Crests, Nena, the Byrds and more in one fell swoop.


17. "Myriad Harbour" - The New Pornographers
    I want to give Destroyer another chance now.


18. "Friday I'm In Love" - Scala and Kolacny Brothers
    A great DJ changes the way people feel about music and exposes them to music from other sides of the spectrum; Diplo did that this year when he released a mixtape that included Scala and Kolacny's cover of the Knife's "Heartbeats." We all went scrambling to find the original, and some of us stumbled onto this track from this year's excellent "One-Winged Angel," featuring unironic choral versions of Marilyn Manson, Radiohead and more. I wish I was great enough to get the club kids to listen to choral music, and vice versa.


19. "Peace Is Burning Like a River" - Bitter, Bitter Weeks
    A wish for peace to everyone in 2K8. Also, a wish that Philly bands like this one would keep being so good and getting noticed all over the place. Cheers!

BACK FROM THE DEAD...

...and just in time.



I have the internet again! It's been a dark month without the warm light of the blogosphere to guide me through.

So many funny things have happened, of course.

Tomorrow: a recap of the past week, and a catch-up on the Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2K7. (Let's get 'em in before the New Year.)

Blog is dead? Please. Virtual kiss my ass.

Foreign revelers- Alaska, Bucks County, Portland,, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, etc.- miss you. Hurry home. We've got CONFETTI BAZOOKAS FOR NEW YEAR'S.

PS - I'm working on both Top 20 songs lists. Almost done--then I found out one of my top 3 favorites was actually from 2K6, so it won't be listed on the sleeve when I hand you your CD. Instead, watch its reincarnation in a lovely "Take Away Concert" from the Blogotheque.

"Roots On Sidewalks" - Inlets

#59.3 - Inlets - Roots on sidewalks
Uploaded by lablogotheque

Succinct

1. "Andy is so drunk he forgot he's gay."
2. SL and G dressing like twins three times in a row—at first funny, now just creepy.
3. You have to be very careful about wearing red tights…M might mistake you for Santa and try to sit on your lap.
4. CRad single-handedly bringing grinding back to the dance floor.
5. Hotel parties with airline minis.

.......

Thanks for keeping visiting. Until somebody else starts posting, I'm saying RIP bc it's BORING otherwise.

Besides - the only funny thing that happened this whole WEEK was last night at Silk, when Lauren broke a salt shaker, and (yk, for good luck), threw the salt over her shoulder. Into my eyes.

(and thanks for the beer, L).

oops.

Okay Jesse.

Happy Birthday. The truth is, I regifted your gifts. You probably figured it out, because the "Thanks for being a good shift manager Sarah, we'll really miss you" cards were still in the gift bag that I brought you for your birthday. I hope you like the "I love you" balloon and bling tattoos anyway.

Thanks for the party,
SL

One, two, skip a few.

We started the day with Water Party (means 1531 finally got it!) then A and I had a Breakfast Weekend Recap. Then we had a heat party. Cop John. Making it happen. After all that we watched all the "special features" for Breakfast at Tiffany's. They were all terrible, but I think we could look at AudHep (?) all day if we had to, right?

Anyway, last night.

1. The best booty texts ever sent. Maybe someone Awesome will post it later...
(I wonder if the phone call ever came?)

2. Gettin' called out: Sorry DK about not updating as frequently as you want, please don't blog-dump us.

3-8. Things we can't even write about because our friends are too weird. Funny though.

9. "This is the best part of the night because I love everything that's happening, but it's also the worst part of the night because I won't remember anything that's happening" (A)

10. Accidental phone calls where your phone somehow calls the person then you and your friends talk about that person for four minutes while they're listening.

Anyway, it's winter and it's slowing down. Things might not be as outrageous as usual, but it's whatever. Let's spend the week getting psyched for ProgRock Dinner, Housewarmings, Happy Birthday Jesus parties in Jersey, etc.

And let's go to the movies. I think I've talked myself into wanting to see that Compass one with the talking polar bears. Anybody in?

get ready.

my phone takes pictures

Last night went like this:

We left my house at 6. While usually I'll tell you that South Philly has everything we need on every corner, it's just not true of cabs. We walked to FRONT and WASHINGTON before we found a taxi. But, on the way, we saw this:


(Ryan thought it said Conrad. Coward is good too, I guess.)

Work party at Spasso. Lots of food and drink. Met a lot of IT kids. They used words like "ztml", and tried to explain the wiki they're building (or something), but had never visited cuteoverload.com, or icanhascheezburger. I mean, that's why we have the internet, right? To look at kittens? It was like they were missing the big picture.

Then Rander and I hit the Barbary. Thanks JNY RDN for putting a PHTBTH (skipping those vowels only works sometimes, but was worth a shot) back in our lives. The one in Kmart at the Gallery takes terrible pictures, and going to the Andy in Pittsburgh for one is Just Too Far.

So, anyway, we're on that couch, waiting for our strips to come out.
R: "I think that boy just took his clothes off in the photobooth".

So, I ask the boy, "Hi. Did you just take your clothes off in the photobooth?"
"Yes."


"Can I take your picture with your pictures?"
"Yes."

Lastly, in the bathroom:


If you live in (or have ever been to) South Philly, you probably know "Punk Rock Legend Mikey Wild",
(or maybe you've even comissioned one of his drawings?) and know that this is weird.

1531 update

the Laser Reveal was awesome.

Adding on...

SL, I wanna add to your list of new slang. Last night I never went to bed cause it's that time of the semester, so today I was all kindsa loopey trying to get through my long day of classes. I found that I kept saying things in my head that didn't make any sense & I couldn't figure out where they came from. They were pretty much all gems, but right now, going on 41 hours without sleep, I can only remember the first one of the day (they say you never forget your first...)

I was in the mezzanine at school toasting my bagel during a break from class when I noticed that our nude model kept staring at me (she was wearing a robe at thisparticular time). If I've been staring at your naked body for the past hour, and there is no chance you are ever gonna see my naked naked body, it's better if we NEVER make eye contact. She was making me really uncomfortable.

I turn to two of my classmates and say, "She is giving me the freaks."

As soon as I said it I was confused. After a minute I realized that I had combined the two different phrases of freaking me out & gving me the creeps. But I also realized immediatley that this turn of phrase is way better!

a public apology (sort of)

last night was the first time i was ever jealous of someone.
it was sue.
and it was because her bowling score was so much higher than mine.
normally i would be happy for a friend succeeding ..but other friends were trying much harder to hit the pins than (it looked like) sue was and hers all just kept magically falling down.
she could hit one corner pin in the left and seven would fall.
ben or i would hit one corner pin in the left and one corner pin in the left would fall.
anyway, i'm sorry that i told everyone that i wanted anyone but you to win.
if God wanted you to win who was i to root against you?
i was wrong and i hope we're still best friends.

on an unrelated note.
ps. disneyland, shaq and england

NURDZ

This is what happens when you visit a Magic: The Gathering Pro Tour player in Spain:

THE WEEK IN REVIEW

1. Sarah either did or did not say at her family's Thanksgiving table that what she was thankful for was her friend, Conrad.


2. Sue and Sarah are stealing all of my clothes.

3. "Sexting."


4. Last night at the bowling alley in New Jersey, I was trying to tell Sarah that Silk City was annoying last week because it was all Jersey bros and hos. There were people from New Jersey and in New Jersey standing next to us, so I said, "There were certain kinds of people there that I don't want to see when I go out." She said, "What kind of people?" I said, "You know, certain kinds of people." She said, "Oh, right. Black people."

5. When Conrad puts his nickname into a computerized bowling score-taking machine, it shows up as RAPE. Also, Ben Gallman and I are asking you all to vote on which is a better rap MC name for Conrad: Rapekwon or Sir Rapes-a-Lot?


6. I scare babies. Give them to me and they'll start crying. (Specifically Zolani, pictured above.)


7. Lauren keeps text-reminding me that she's lounging by a poolside in Miami. Thanks, Lauren. Enjoy.

8. Me: "I need to get a key made." Sue: "There's a place around the corner. This is South Philly. We have everything at our fingertips."

9. I don't have water or heat yet. I'm Sue and Sarah's unofficial intern. They have the world's tiniest shower.


10. My mom and dad were really upset with me twice this week for not going out and getting drunk with Marilyn. Quote of the month, from my conservative Christian mother: "Your sister expects you to be at the Spank Rock show. What, you don't like Spank Rock or something?"

time.

Best part of this week so far? Easy. (Oh.):



Driving to work this morning and passing by Conrad, wearing his orange "recovering convict" vest, and servicing my community by picking up trash on Passyunk. Thanks, Conrad, for keeping it clean.