THIS IS THE END

10. Man was I bad this year at going out. I had a good start, and the summer was productive for a while, but then I got all old and creaky and doughy and before you knew it, I was neck-deep in school and stress and not staying home because I "should," but staying home because I "wanted to." By the end of the year I was literally falling asleep at the club. Now that school's over for a month, I want to get a running start on my New Year's Resolution, which is to go out more. I arranged next semester's schedule around the gym, episodes of "Lost" and weekly Tuesday night trips to Woody's, so let's jump on the party train and try not to jump off too much. I want my hard-earned reputation back. Go hard or go home.

9. Has anybody thought about the fact that Kanye has been called gay for years, but as soon as he makes an electro-R&B album with neon 80's synthesizers and makes the daytime talk show rounds wearing shuttershades and singing through Auto-Tune in shimmery white leisure suits, the haters stop and black people start dressing like Justice?

I didn't make that Justice thing up. Seriously, come ride the subway with me sometime. Not only is my bloghouse hair a bigger hit than ever, but every dude wears black leather jackets, black tees with little neon accents, skinny jeans and black wool caps. Silver accessories are tasteful and spare.

I thought I was making this up, but then a few weeks ago I had "Cross" on at work, and these four not-indie black kids came in late at night. The one dude goes, "Aw, I didn't know they play Justice in white people restaurants," and one of the girls says, "Justice is a white dude and a Asian dude." It was all really bizarre, like Kanye just maybe turned the entire African-American community on to obscure electro, French house and disco, etc. This could mean that 2K9 will be a very exciting time for music/fashion, or I guess it could just be another dumb fad.

8. What if, in 2K9, we threw our own parties, and they looked like this?



Dance steps, new songs, VFW halls. Can we make it happen? Should we form a committee?

7. My oven got fixed. Now I have even less of a reason to go out and party. I'm going to make good on my resolution, though. Maybe I'll find ways to balance my needs: like, I'll bake a bunch of muffins and bring them to you when I meet you at Woody's.


6. Dan and I are trying to buy cases of Sparks for NYE now that it's illegal. Or we might buy a few cases and bust them out two NYE's from now, or maybe at my War of 1812-themed 32nd birthday party in four years, on the 200th anniversary of the beginning of the War of 1812. Basically, we're hiding a secret Sparks-stash for the apocalypse, of which government suppression of our Right to Party is an obvious sign. In the meantime, we'll just have to go back to Sofia Cuties and cocaine.

Side note: Pedro at Rustica keeps asking me to buy him Sparks, which he calls "Esparklies."


5. Deven, on Rihanna: "I just don't get it. She's got a sevenhead."

4.


3. If every Making Time came with Amanda/Matt sightings, I would go to every Making Time. (Shut up, I've totally missed them before. I'm not going on NYE. Instead I'll be with Matt and Amanda.) Oh, were you there the other night? Yeah sorry I didn't run into you--I got there late; everyone was drunk and doing that "Hurry hurry we're all going to another floor on the other side of this place" thing; every single person I know was there; I stood there for half an hour just saying hi to people before I decided it was too much work. I had a drink with Amanda and Matt and then went the fuck home to bed.


2. My phone is turned off cause I haven't paid the bill, but I still woke up this morning and went online to check my Twitter.


1. One of our friends, who shall remain nameless, is even worse than Sarah at eating. She isn't afraid to admit she doesn't like real food, but this kid doesn't even like normal food. Some things he won't eat:
- Fruit
- Turkey
- Of course "seafood" is right out, but so is "cake"
- Vegetables
- Soup (any kind at all)
- All food made at Thanksgiving

He will eat plain cheese steaks (just cheese and steak), french fries (salt is OK, but pepper is a definite no), mozzarella sticks, and beer. He eats once a day if he remembers to. Now you know what not to get him for Christmas: food.

THINGS TO DO TONIGHT:

- Come have an Awesome for Sarah
- Super secret [holiday] party for [a certain] Skateshop
- I'll be stopping by after said secret party to have one beer before I announce that I'm broke