5. Mom was really, really nervous about the subway. Apparently, trains scare her. There's a one-and-a-half-foot-wide yellow line painted on the edge of the orange line platform; when I stepped on it to look for the train, she sucked in her breath really loudly and started to hyperventilate. Then some water rushed through the grate under the rails below, and she jumped. OK, note to self: don't take Mom on the subway.
4. We went from this:
to this:
It was difficult to ignore the recent developments in communications technologies.
3. For some reason, there is a tiny, adorably cozy-looking little Korean restaurant in the basement of Suburban Station. I mean, it looks like it should be anywhere else but there, with little two-tops tucked away in candlelit corners and tiny paper-walled alcoves with miniature landscape sculptures of meadows and working waterwheels. Who knows about this place?
2. At the Macy's show, Julie Andrews' recorded voice says, "Visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads," and a six-year-old beside me said, "Why?"
1. I win best thing of the week, or maybe the year.
My mom asked me about tops and bottoms.
Actually, she asked me, "Say you're a gay man, and you're at a bar, and you want to meet somebody and take them home. How do you figure out which one's going to be the man and which one's the woman?"
If you know my mom, then you know it's true that I win Best Funny Thing 2K8.
PS - Later, she said, "Well, do you..." and trailed off. I think she was going to ask me if I was a top or a bottom. I started talking about Martha Stewart's pinecone owl ornaments.
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