After the tenor Juan Diego Flórez popped out his nine shining high C’s in “La Fille du Régiment” at the Metropolitan Opera on Monday night, the crowd rose and cheered. Mr. Flórez obliged with something not heard on the Met stage since 1994: a solo encore.
He sang the aria “Ah! Mes Amis” again, nailing the difficult note — a kind of tenor’s macho proving ground — nine more times. It was one of those thrilling moments that opera impresarios live for.
Seriously, you have to watch this to believe it. Go here.
6. JB: "I don't like popcorn with cheese...I don't know, I can't tell if I like it...no, I've never tried it...I think I really like popcorn with cheese"
5. Giant fires (too big) that really almost burn my house down
4. "If you don't like my bloody cheese, don't eat it"
I want you all to imagine something for a minute. Maybe this will get you in the mood for the summer...
I just did a search for "Madonna" to get "4 Minutes," because thank God my ipod is working again, and one of the songs that came up was "Intervention." For a moment, my knowledge of gay history failed me, and I imagined that she had covered the Arcade Fire:
Which, in turn, led me to the realization that it may be true that there is no Arcade Fire song that couldn't be made just a little bit better by having Madonna sing on it, somewhere. I'm not really expecting you people to get behind me on this one, but you know, that's how I feel. I mean, it worked for Gogol Bordello, right?
Anyway, so 10 Funny is back. I promised Genna. A birthday promise. So here's her birthday party:
TEN FUNNY THINGS ABOUT GENNA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY
10. B. How are you? A. Lovely. Hey, your mullet is looking great. B. I'm thinking of cutting it off, dahlin'. Yaws looks like it could use some hay-elp.
9. Guests who arrive at 9:15. 9:15? Really? Good people, and I would have loved to have invited you in for dinner and gotten to know you better, but the fact is, I was eating dinner. Also, I hadn't even moved the furniture yet. I wonder what you did for two hours? (Poor thing, he looked miserable when I told him nobody would get there until at least 11.)
8. Mar's strawberries and champagne caused a flurry of confused allegiance to utensils: should we drink it? Use forks? Dig those chopsticks out of the trash? Are we even allowed to drink it? I directed the more bewildered constituents to the beer. Meanwhile, I drank and ate like a king. Thanks, Mar. You now have your assignment for Brunchfest 2K8.
7. Heatherette dolls? Classic gift. Thank you, Rob, for being in our lives. For my birthday, I want Amanda Lepore herself to appear. See what you can do.
6. Genna and Marilyn dance-protecting the ipod from Party Steve after he misguidedly skipped "Whatta Man." [Shudder] Never, ever, ever skip that song, everybody. Especially when there are girls in the room.
5. Not really a Funny Thing, but everybody who didn't know Genna wanted to know who she was so they could wish her a happy birthday and/or give her a present. Once again, as always, when I get my friends together, they reaffirm my faith in humankind by being sweet, laid-back and awesome. But I'm gushing. Oh, I'm all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: the bulldozer in my backyard is neither a bull nor a dozer. Discuss.
4. Open-door policy? No. Sorry, K. Never again. From now on, please keep the doors and windows closed. I'll get A/C if I have to. A/C is my middle name. (Just kidding; it's my initials.) Permissive cops? Yes please. When the cop (note: singular) came, she said, "Are you having a party?" I pointed to the twenty people in the street and then to the million people inside. She laughed and said, "OK, well the neighbors made a noise complaint about the music, so if you keep the music off, we won't have to come back and disperse the party." Somehow, in Sue-and-Andy-ese, this translated as, "Move yourself and your 124 friends across the street." Awesome.
3. Saliva-ed peppermint sticks in people's hair. BG, one day someone is going to stop laughing and hurt you. Until then, I've got your back.
2. I learned how to be mean. I didn't think I was that drunk, but according to my sister, I said a lot of things I don't remember, so I must have been. One of them was when some tall douchebag kept holding his bottle in my ceiling fan, so I told him to stop (I remember that), he said, "How is that your business?" (I remember that), I said, "It's my fucking house, you asshole" (I kind of remember that); and then, apparently, when he did it again, I told him to get the fuck out and somehow made him leave. That part I do not remember. Nor do I remember yelling at a bunch of other people that night for being similarly insensitive to personal property boundaries, but apparently, it's true. Uh, go me.
1. Somebody on Beulah St. woke up the next morning to find candy all over the house-the table, the walls, the floor. Apparently, she grabbed a bunch of Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip that was on the table and crammed it into her mouth, only to find that it tasted horrible, like laundry detergent. Yes, friends, our little girl had accidentally got her first mouthful of cocaine. Ah, the party life. Live here long enough, and if you don't find it, I guess it finds you.
I hung out with Matt Doty last night and he is so psyched. He waited in line at UPS for hours--even an hour and a half after they closed--so he could pick up some last-minute records to throw on tonight. You want love? You want commitment? There it is.
Booty-shakin', out-makin', and various forms of writhing. See you there.
Last night, Levon Helm and his band ordered $300 worth of food from Rustica. You know, there's cool, and then there's Levon Helm cool. Sometimes I kind of like my weird job.
Anyway:
Now that I can't get out during the week, the weekend is like this huge ginormous present I'm waiting for all week and jumping up and down like a little kid, wanting to shake it and see what's inside. So if I'm a little tired on a Friday night, not that many people are there, or not much is going on, I'm still having an awesome time. Seriously, you should try it.
Last night was Click at Fluid. Send me those pictures, Chris.
1. Sue has a habit now of leaving without telling anyone. Can we get her a bell or something?
2. You want free drinks all night? Just pay the five dollars for Chris to get in. I think I definitely got the good end of the deal on that one.
3. Except for when I slipped into my routine fiscally irresponsible party-mode and started buying Sue $9 drinks that she didn't really ask for.
4. Brazilian husband-and wife DJs? Yes please. Maybe not as exciting as I had hoped, but hey, they did kiss at one point. Come on, I mean that is totally unnecessary and completely adorable. Plus, they played Ku Duru.
(If you're interested, here's their most recent "Electro Banger Ghetto Trash Set." (Come on- do any of us know what that really means? Whatever, it was fun.)
5. Woods' and my Jagger-text wars have now mutated into "Do your best Bianca Jagger." Also, that video has now spawned a new verb for us: "Doot." Do it. One word.
6. Another way to get free drinks (well, this is an old standby): don't make a big deal out of it when somebody knocks your drink out of your hand and onto the floor, especially when you hardly had any left in there. They're adults; they're going to buy you a shiny brand new beer.
7. I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank Eric for introducing us to a group of legitimately ridiculously fun and relatively Ani-free lesbians. On a related note, a million kudos for Deshawn's bizarre sweater and the Leslie and the LYs pride that came with it.
8. At work, somebody paid with a dollar bill that had crazy neon marker writing all over it that said: "LOTTO WINNER!!!" I took it to Fluid and paid with it at the coat check. The girl was really, really, really excited about it.
9. Strange sleep utterances. I love you, baby. Happy Valentine's.
10. I would like to take this opportunity to personally apologize to Ben for running into him and Mack on the street, inviting him to Marilyn's, passing out in a kitchen chair as soon as I walked through the door, and having somebody call him while he was finding parking to tell him never mind, we're going home. LAME.
OK, see you tonight. I have to go write a stupid paper.
1. When choosing their neighborhood bar that they'll be frequenting every night, people who are trying to quit smoking might not want to settle on the one bar in West Philly where you can smoke.
2. That said, Larry is an impressive bartender: you're not getting your drink until he knows your name (which he will not forget), where you grew up, where you went to school and how much you'll be drinking tonight. Go Larry.
3. Girls who lose their shoes at bars sometimes find them in Ben Gallman's pockets.
4. I finally got some vindication on the whole weird thing about Eric wanting to eat my face. All of his friends agreed that he's an absurd fucking weirdo and that he should be grateful that I offered to leave him my face in my will to do with it whatever he wants.
5. Two toilets in the same stall: bad idea.
6. The bathroom situation at Pi Lam, however, is improving. No more crater in the middle of the floor with a fountain of water spewing out of it.
7. The door staff at Pi Lam were overwhelmed with the turnout and incredibly appreciative: as they signed your hand, they said, "Thank you very much for coming. It's so good to have you here." It was astonishingly sincere.
8. Our secret beer carton made it about halfway before somebody found it and raided it: way better than we'd expected!
9. Crazed flail-dancing. It was an epidemic all night. That music was lasers.
10. 4 a.m. end-of-the-night carbo-loading: an American pastime.
Silk City, M Room, Barbary, Lauren's, Christopher's, home.
10. DJ block of Violent Femmes? Ben wouldn't stop talking about it.
9. At some point last night, I saw every last gay boy in Philadelphia. These people are so easy to love because they are SO FUCKING SMILEY!!!
8. Smurf blue drugs.
7. Huy still lives at Silk City.
6. Is there a word for people who go to a DJ night but just hang around outside talking to smokers and never pay to get in? Leave it in the comments.
5. Also, is there a word for that tiny weird cutout in the wall to the left of the door at Silk City where everybody always hides and smokes?
4. So surprised that Marilyn is my sister. Also, said things like, "When you're single, you get DJ gigs out the wazoo."
3. Look, I don't know how many times I've seen Lauren's huge enormous fucking cat now, but JESUS CHRIST IS THAT ONE GIANT HUGE ENORMOUS FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!
2. Girl: "Hi. Can I dance with you?" Me: "Yeah!" Girl: "Are you gay?" ME: "Yeah!" Girl: "Oh, thank God."
1. This kid DANCED! I have multiple witnesses to prove it.
We all know that New York leads the way in fashion in the U.S. (shut up LA people...I've been to your stores and all you have is neon clothing). But we also have to admit that Europe is way ahead of the U.S. If you see it on the runway in Europe, expect it to be here next year. As seen at the Denmark and Stockholm fashion weeks....my top three impending fashion trends that make me shutter:
1) This is just a bad idea. Not only are you gonna have to avoid tree branches and stucco walls, but this is a straight path to a HUGE resurgence of some major huffing addictions. It is simply bad business to have a helium tank in your clothing closet. 2) Babies as accessories? C'mon! What are you supposed to do with it when you are passed out on your friends steps in South Philly from all the JB shots you did that night? I don't know much about babies, but I think it's generally frowned upon to let them sleep in your oversized handbag (on their way out, ps) in the Beulah alleyway. 3) Hammer, don't hurt'em. Seriously you guys, I've been watching all the European fashion weeks and I have been seeing this often. It's for real!!! So if you wanna say you were wearing that a year ago and are so over it when everyone else starts up, get yours now. I'm sure Vanilla Ice would be willing to unload some pants at a discount.
On discovering that his dining companion, the Arab leader Ibn Saud, forwent smoking and alcohol on religious grounds, Winston Churchill retorted:
"I must point out that my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."
