10. While Marilyn was actually in Italy, we watched "La Dolce Vita." On the projector on the roof. Wine. So good. I think we're going to keep doing this a lot; Conrad has painted a screen on the wall out there, so we have a good setup. You have to be able to fit through our bathroom window, but it is so worth it--and even on a hot, muggy night, there's enough of a breeze out there that you forget the heat. A few stars, above the sounds and the lights of the city, out of view of the neighbors, and this:
Oh, and Nico's in that movie? Who knew?
SUNDAY:
9. Mad Decent Block Party: the best party in years.
8. 'Nuff said.
7. Other highlights: Diplo in the dunk tank, little kids, Conrad and Agnew's watergun fight, too much neon, neighbors.
6. Genna's housewarming! That girl is seriously the consummate hostess. So much fresh fruit, good beer, burgers, strawberry daiquiris, OH MY GOD AIR CONDITIONING, a gorgeous patio, and Byron. She has tamed that little mutt, and we spent a lot of time cuddling. Some highlights:
5. Disappointing fireworks. They sound like real fireworks, but then they just shoot a few sparks and catch on fire.
4. "Oh my God! That guy's from Women."
3. "Hey Sue, you wanna suck down a hamburger?"
2. "WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS FREAKING DANE-HATING???"
1. Ahem: Lauren: Ugh, I can't believe that asshole. He thinks he can just molest me whenever he wants. Me: Really? Lauren: Yeah, I mean he just started putting his hand right up my dress. Me: Jesus! I mean, what happened? Lauren: Well, he was lying on the floor, so I sat on his face...
No, Lauren. Nope.
And the quotes of the day: first, from Chris D: "Scarlett Johansson's voice sounds like getting your dick sucked."
And the other: "Shit or get off the blog."
Also, my tolerance level is back. I've been drinking even more than normal and waking up with no hangover. SUMMER!!!
10. One unfortunate side effect of a) knowing so many people, b) seeing all the same people all the time and c) living in--let's face it--a pretty small town is that when you go out, you tend to have the same conversation over and over again with different people. Tonight, all anybody could talk about was a) my hair (which they would then muss up--it's irresistible, apparently) b) my upcoming birthday party, or c) "Sunny" sightings. Josh Ballard saw Danny DeVito, Sue saw Charlie and the set of trailers. She was really excited about the fact that the trailers were marked by the characters' names and that one trailer door read "Charlie and the Waitress," because of course they're married in real life.
9. Blogging is so much better and easier if you do it as soon as you get home from your night out.
8. For the singles among us, tonight was an incredibly confusing carousel of sexual tension: will she go home with him, him or him? Is he really starting a fight right now? Where the hell did Sue go? Ah, it makes me nostalgic.
7. Eric likes to pogo when he dances. Also, he likes to bite necks.
6. As has been stated on this blog before, my favorite part about MT at Pure is that all the gays show up at 2, very confused. But tonight, that dynamic was greatly increased as it was GAY PRIDE WEEKEND. Everywhere, there were older gay couples looking hopeful, discouraged and confused.
5. KEEPING GETTING IN FOR FREE! How can we make him a VIP at next week's birthday barbecue? I'm taking suggestions.
4. Thank you, Christopher Davidson, for introducing me to the backdoor cheap drink loophole at Pure: Michelob Ultra. You said it was "Almost like beer;" I said it was not only beer, but it was much more than that, because it was Ultra. FOUR DOLLARS!!!
3. Virginia and Buddy. Everywhere all the time.
2. Beforehand, at La Casa De Lauren, I learned that without proper adult supervision, I will eat/snort 4 1/2 Adderals in two hours. Terrifying, then fun, then mellowish, actually.
1. Dave P: Thank you for bringin' it all back home for Pride. Last song of the evening, Stephanie Mills? I love you in a real way.
10. M.I.A.'s show sucked. I think anybody there will vouch for me. That place was like an airplane hangar, and you couldn't hear a goddamn thing. It was worse than the Electric Factory. We left after four songs (I think).
9. OK, let's be honest: maybe we really left because they weren't selling alcohol?
8. Ugh, don't drink vodka tonics made with Vlad and no juice. And trust me, under absolutely no circumstances should you drink two of them.
7. If you're already feeling self-conscious about how much you're sweating, don't go to dinner at an Indian restaurant with no air conditioning.
6. Remember that German boy I scared off because I kept trying to speak to him in German, which I don't know how to speak? Well apparently, this is something of a habit for me, as I kept catching myself trying to speak to Deborah in slurred French. Of course I don't speak French either, whether slurred or unslurred. She kept saying, "What? What?" and looking vaguely annoyed.
5. Everybody has a "Sunny" sighting story.
4. Girl: Andy! Me: Oh hey! Girl: I met you at your house. Me: Yeah, I remember. How are you? Girl: Good. Listen, it's OK if you don't remember my name. Me: (not guessing at all; totally sure) No, I do! Eric, this is Jen. Girl: Um, right. Hi, Eric. I'm Rachel.
3. Steve's back!
2. Apparently, Siobhan gave me suggestions for funny things to post. Apparently, I was unimpressed. Mostly, I'm just embarrassed that I don't even remember that part.
1. I found evidence that mice had been in my bed, so I spent the night on Sue's couch. In the morning, she made me an egg. She can't eat more than an egg yet, but I'm still so proud of her.
I'm not even trying to have a coherent weekend...it's just too much madness to pass up.
(Sorry I haven't really blogged this week; suffice it to say, the best thing that happened was at Snacks at Woody's. Three faux-queens (read: fantastically over-makeupped girls that I LOVED) heard that Sue's getting [dental] implants and told her that was "Awesome" and that she would be so happy afterwards. She talked to them about it for a long time before she realized they thought she meant breast implants. Then she realized they had all had boob jobs. I told her my new favorite band is Susie and the Implants. Otherwise, the main contributions this week made to my life are peach schnapps with blood orange soda and lots of Indiana Jones, not to mention really good quality time with my boyfriend. And Kane and the Undertaker facing off at Rustica.)
THURSDAY (show night):
Eric and I are leaving in ten minutes to see M.I.A. BITCHES!!! Barbary afterwards for Josh and Matt's party Self-Control with THE FIELD!!!
FRIDAY:
I don't work all day. I'm around; let's take naps in Rittenhouse or something. Call me.
In the evening, hair-dyeing/80s movie night at Lauren's, then PRESETS at Making Time (Pure). Let's get there early and get real drunk real fast, like in the old days:
(video: "This Boy's In Love" - The Presets)
SATURDAY:
Oh God--Roots Picnic, Best Fest, Odunde, NoLibs Music Fest. I'll be slingin' pizzas until 8; come see me and I'll hook you up. At night:
WHAAAATTT? Outdoor "The Wizard of Oz" Sing-A-Long on the Great Plaza at Penn's Landing as part of Philly Gay Pride 2K8! I am freaking out! Please, someone, go with me. My boyfriend isn't gay enough to be interested. $5.
Later: I don't know, tell me what to do and I'll be there.
SUNDAY:
G's housewarming, and Pridefest Parade, if I can swing it. At night: Gary's party. Girl is moving next month; let's show her as much love as we can.
PS - On June 9th, if you're in Italy, say "Happy Birthday" to my mom, and if you're in Florida or California, say "Happy Birthday" to Donald Duck.
Conrad, Sue and I drove up to my boss's lake house in the mountains this weekend. It was amazing and we're renting it again this summer and taking all of you with us.
Some highlights:
10. Stars.
9. A shake place called "That Shake Place."
8. Holes in the carpet in the shapes of pieces of slate and stone, with the actual pieces of slate and stone in those holes. Also, a deer head. Three fireplaces, two chimeneas, a grill and a fire-pit.
7. DRIVE-IN!!! Double feature: "Indiana Jones" and "Iron Man."
6. We kind of forgot, but the original plan was to ask the locals where to go dancing. You know, in the Poconos.
5. Hanging out in the back of the El Camino, behind the gas station.
4. Paddleboat.
3. Conrad and Sue somehow got me to play cards. I even kind of liked it.
2. We drank so much, morning to night, and didn't even go through all the liquor we brought. Also, it felt like we got away for a whole weekend, but really it was just overnight.
1. Pulled into town around midnight, stopped at the Barbary to say hi to everybody outside. Conrad left the El Camino running. We were there for maybe two minutes, then home. I had so many missed calls when I turned on my phone.
Next time we won't screw up the car situation, and all of you who I really wanted to come will be able to come.
9. I told J not to go to Delilah's without $200. It was his first time going to a strip joint. Next thing I knew, I turned around and there he was, taking $200 out of the ATM. Good man! Listen, even I have an awesome time at Delilah's. (But not without $200.)
8. Not a funny thing, but a big-up: Congratulations to Dan; apparently the new Women record that came in the mail tonight is awesome. I can't wait to hear it.
7. You work somewhere for three years; the boss's friend, who you've seen five days a week for three years and who runs a restaurant where you used to eat and drink all the time, buys you a drink from across the bar; and that's great. I mean, really, I'm grateful. Thanks, PD. But...really? You told the bartender my name was Rustica? Three years, PD. Three years.
6. Hot on the heels of the Camel Girl who showed up at our house party last week, one of our friends who we haven't seen in a while is now a Camel Girl, and I am going to make her start working our parties.
5. Kevin: Another PBR? Me: Actually, can I have one of those? Kevin: What, the vodka tonic? Me: No, the High Life. Kevin: (without a trace of irony) Oh, you're moving up in the world!
Speaking of which, I hope he gets this job he wants, but what will we do without our favorite bartender? Go back to Kenny?
4. It's hard to get into the El Camino, because suddenly you're surrounded, and it's like having a basket of babies and puppies, only instead of a big crowd of girls cooing, it's guys making loud whooping sounds like they just got laid or took the best shit of their lives.
3. After they leave, Steve Miller comes up to your car looking really pissed off and says, "Yo, were those guys giving you shit?" Love, people. Love.
2. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to the mountains for the weekend. Except, you know, I don't have a ride, and the car that's going is full without me. And it's my free weekend left over from the Christmas Bonus this year! So I spent the night inviting everyone I knew, and almost everyone had plans. I even met two people and invited them. Not into it.
1. Big news. Potentially, big big news. Would it be wrong of me to divulge the details for #1? How about this: ask Conrad what big giant thing happened tonight at Silk City, and if he acts like he doesn't know what you mean, ask what Diplo's doing on his next tour.
The barbecue was an almost-perfect way to spend Memorial Day. Thanks to the entire city of Philadelphia for showing up. Besos.
10. I missed the part where "Duder" (Christ, that's actually what people call him) robbed our beer. For that, he's banned for life from Beulah II. Revenge, bitches!!!
9. Earlier in the day, when I was coming back from "Da Ac-a-me," I met my neighbor Chico and his wife and mother. Chico was really sweet and offered to lend me his pit bull/chow mix for a week or two so any burglars in the neighborhood would think I had a big scary dog. It got even weirder when he told me that dog is the only one that should ever leave the house, because the other two might kill somebody. Thanks, Chico!
8. Foursquare. Burgers. Beer. Good people. Sunshine. This formula is really starting to work for us.
7. Sidewalk chalk all over the street? Check. P.S. got a little upset when people started to turn her "abstract experiments" into representational things like cute sea turtles. Oh, lighten up, girl. Mwah.
6. Gary, I'm sorry I started a rumor that you were playing tennis at a country club when you were only playing volleyball at an "airplane pool" (I don't know what that means).
5. Champagne, beer, Bloody Marys, Clamato beer, and vodka-with-melted-green-apple-water ice are a bad combination. Somehow, though, I survived. Just keep 'em comin', folks.
4. I gave beer to the Chinese (?) guys cleaning out the house across the street. They just kept saying, "Thank you very much" over and over again. OK neighbors!!!
3. Another thing I missed: some dude running through the foursquare game, then two cops chasing him? And one of the cops falling on his face in front of my house??? Where the hell was I???
2. Seriously, the weirdly broad spectrum of people that showed up makes me feel very happy and loved. Dear old and new friends, Christians, philosophers, the gay mafia, skate rats, and migrant workers, I hope you all had as great of a time as I did. I think we'll do this again soon, probably for my birthday. (And, you know, this time, no beer stealing and no climbing into the neighbor's backhoe, and we should have a perfect day.)
1. I don't remember Ben coming back, but apparently we watched cartoons until I fell asleep. Woke up at seven the next morning on the couch. Sorry I missed the Barbary! Ah well, next time.
Come to my house for a barbecue today. Let's get memorial! In the meantime, here's your Memorial Day mix:
GET MEMORIAL 1. Lollipop (Remix) - Lil' Wayne 2. Seconds - Human League 3. Baby (Breakbot Remix) - PNAU 4. Pogo (Shinichi Osawa Remix) - Digitalism 5. Flawless (ATOC Re-Remix) - The Ones 6. Lady - Modjo 7. All Over Your Face (Original Extended Mix) - Cazwell 8. Lupita - Panico 9. Lights Out (Remix) - Santogold 10. Bendable Poseable - Hot Chip 11. O Superman (Booka Shade vs. M.A.N.D.Y. Remix) - Laurie Anderson 12. Hercules Theme - Hercules and Love Affair 13. Hold On - HOLY GHOST! 14. Sunset Beach (CFCF Remix) - The Teenagers 15. I'll Be By Your Side (Rude 66 808 Remix) - Sally Shapiro 16. Star Guitar (f/ Au Revoir Simone) - Shinichi Osawa
& moving on... Last night's ten funny things:
10. At a house party in NoLibs, two El Caminos lined with tarps, filled with water. People were baby-pooling. Amazing and a dream of mine come true.
9. Sue: "I like that at this party, boys in flip-flops and girl's bathing suits make the cut."
8. Sue, again: "Radiohead does not make dancing songs. This is dumb."
7. I'm glad I posted that "Bachelorette Party" image the other day, because there really was an Old City bachelorette party last night that made its way to the Barbary. These girls had penis whistles around their necks and everything. This is further evidence for my theory that the human race has evolved to the point where we imagine something, throw it out there on the internet, and it manifests itself IRL in a day or two at the latest.
6. OMG I love SGT. SASS!!!
5. I don't know, Matt showed me the "secret bathroom" at the Barbary once and told me it was probably OK for me to use it whenever, so I do it sometimes. Last night, the second time I went to go in there, I got yelled at by some dude who was all, "Hey! You can't go there! Get out!" So I did, because I ain't tryin' to cause a scene, but then after a few minutes I realized he didn't work at the Barbary at all; he was just another drunken asshole.
4. Sneaking in champagne is the new sneaking in beer. (I didn't do it, but I'm in love with the people who did.)
3. I promised I wouldn't make out with A. So, I didn't make out with A, because I keep my promises. OK, so I did make out with B, though. Whoops.
2. Now that a group of people consistently greets me with, "HEY GIRL!" I feel completely at home.
1.. Conrad, please please please please please never get rid of that El Camino. I feel like fucking royalty driving around in that thing. I want to just cruise around sometime and show off the fact that I am inside it. Can we do that?
THURSDAY: 1. I won tickets to see X. Taking Reyes. See you assholes afterwards.
2. Welcome Genna to her new house.
3. Silk City. Guest DJ from my favorite blog, Discobelle from Sweden!
FRIDAY: 1. Mammoth house cleaning and cocktails at inappropriate times to celebrate having a real weekend on my schedule two weekends in a row this month.
2. NOOOOOO!!!
Parties that make you sad and happy at the same time are the weirdest.
SATURDAY: 1. Recovery.
2. Suggestions? I'm looking at Steve's thing at the Barbary, Riverdeck invasion (looks like somebody beat us to it), or let's get dressed up and do Mojito. Not kidding!
10. X are old. Really really old. With Gary Glitter missing in action, Billy Zoom (above) is now the creepiest old man in rock, and he kept sticking his tongue out at girls and making them touch his guitar. They were good, but he was gross. Exene kept yelling at him and acting like he was an asshole.
9. James is coming tonight? And Steve?
8. JENNY GODDAMN JUPITER! Summer must be here, because Silk City was a maelstrom of old faces I hadn't seen in a year or two. All the freaks were out:
Incidentally, thank you Christopher for that song--it stopped me dead in my tracks. I hadn't heard it since probably 1990, when I was ten years old. There was a house party across the street from my house--thrown by those strange evil creatures that roamed our neighborhood aimlessly--teenagers--and my conservative Christian parents, terrified that I would be eternally corrupted if I saw whatever was happening over there, ordered me to bed early. Of course, my room was in the front of the house, so I did what any red-blooded American would do and leaned out the window to get as corrupted as possible. This song came on, with its weird robot vocals, and it blew my mind. I really thought the lyrics were, "The Flinstones and the Go-Bots, the Flintstones gotta fly." Awesome, right? I ran down to tell my parents all about the undiscovered country of American pop music and the fantastic narratives it spun--the ancient past of cavemen and the glorious future of superhero sentient robot protectors meeting in the electric present moment of summer heat at the end of the millenium--just to sing and dance--and was commanded to shut my window and go to sleep. But for the next year or two, I wandered around my house making up robot dances, singing, "The Flintstones and the Go-Bots, the Flintstones gotta fly." I wanted to party really really bad with people in leopard-print tunics and robot voices. Two years later, at a family wedding, my fifteen-year-old aunt, who looked exactly like Madonna, dragged me out onto the dance floor to learn how to Vogue, and, well, the rest is history.
7. Free drinks are great, but not when twenty people are trying to get the bartender's attention and he ignores all of them to hand you a beer and very visibly waves away your money. You know what happens next? I can tell you: everyone turns around and looks at you with rather unhappy expressions.
6. My heroes are those people who just say "fuck this heat" and start their own dance party outside.
5. Rob tried to hold a table for us before we got there, but he had to compete with a table full of tube top-wearing bitches from New Jersey. I texted him to tell them that a hungry gay man was on the way and he would claw their eyes out. He texted back, "I did. They said the gay man has to be here to prove it."
4. Conrad spilled the contents of Angela's purse all over the ground beneath our table. That kid is smooth.
3. Sue tried to eat a French fry. One. She couldn't make it work, so she thought about just eating the soft inside of this single French fry and not the fried outer layer. That was difficult, too. Finally, she sucked some ketchup off the tip of one, and that gave her enough determination to work on the fry until it was eaten. I am proud to say that in the end, she ate more than half of the French fry.
2. This morning, JK woke me up to tell me his brother was missing, his phone was shut off, and the cops were calling their parents because they found Conrad's car smashed up at 6th and Tasker. Eventually I found Conrad, safe and sound--a moving truck had plowed into the back of his car early this morning while he was asleep. So, that sucks for him, but let me tell you, there is nothing scarier than waking up and thinking your roommate and BFF is dead, and nothing funnier than seeing him burst into the room in a suit jacket with lightning bolts on the lapel.
1. At 2:30 in the morning, Reyes showed up and started knocking on my window. Ben and I were watching a movie inside. I don't know how to describe how fucked up Reyes was--he was on his little stunt bike, twitching and convulsing and yelling about the Republican club. Then he repeated my address a few times and started guffawing and shouting, "Ferris Beulah's day off, that's what this street is!" until he biked home. I can definitely say that this kid is awesome and I'm glad he's my neighbor.
10. Twice this month I've been to the M Room - it's good to see people from there again. Last night Kenny was working. First he and Eric talked about Wittgenstein for a while because Kenny has a quote from Wittgenstein tattooed on his arm, and then the three of us got into a stooooooooopid argument about whether the word "pale" is an adjective or an adverb in the sentence, "The man became pale." (Adjective, by the way, and it's really really obvious, but try telling Eric.)
9. The other day, Conrad's bike broke in half. While he was riding it. They gave him a refund and he stole a bike from a drug dealer.
8. I was in a music video. When they post it, I'll post it here.
7. Sue's unwired. She is Philadelphia Citywide Free Wireless. Today, I watched her eat a sweet potato.
6. Conrad brought home a giant vibrating metal tabletop football game from the 50s. You should come hear it.
5. New favorite blog: Christophresh. I might start to bite off him a little and throw some music up here.
4. Kimmy and I almost actually got married by Dan, who's a preacher in the Universal Life Church, but he's not sure whether it would be legal in Pennsylvania...if so, it could have become a problem for us later.
3. NO MORE NIGHTLIFE PHOTOGRAPHERS!!! Or a break, at least. I'll pose with Sue's mouth if they ask me to, though.
2. A recent text from Eric while he was at MT:
"Mar is all like they're not really playing. And I'm all, what? How are they possibly not totz stonerz"
(I have no idea what that means; probably, neither does Eric.)
1. Last night. Afterparty at Beulah II. Alan and his crew left at 6-ish to go to bed. I've never outlasted him before. Ah, but there can only be one.
